You're toxic I'm slipping under

So yesterday as I already noted, I clicked on a link re: Lindsay Lohan being in the hospital and my computer freaked out. Well, as it happened, my prescious computer caught a bit of a virus, something called "trojan horse". The rest of the day sucked a** b/c I had no computer and nowhere to sit b/c the IT guy was at my desk all afternoon. Poor poor Reagan. But now I'm back. And I wouldn't say better than ever, but pretty much the same as I was before.

I tried on my halloween costume last night and realized there are changes to be made.
1) I cannot wear shorts quite as short as Britney likes to wear them. I have this thing about my a** hanging out that I'm just not that comfortable with. So I'll try again w/ another pair of old jeans I was just going to give to Goodwill. Who needs them more: the needy or me, who wants to dress up as Britney. The answer is obvious (me).
2) I cannot wear a wifebeater. Well, I could. But the one I bought is too tight and see through. I, Reagan, have a gut. A little one, but a gut nonetheless. If I can't stand the sight of myself standing up in that atrocity, how will I ever sit down? So I've decided to go the t-shirt route- cute and not too revealing. However, after drinking a few cocktails, I am sure I will gladly reveal what's underneath for someone moderately attractive who laughs at my jokes.
3) I wear glasses. Britney does not. It someone ruins the whole look to me, but there is nothing I can do about it. Hey y'all, do I look smart in these?
4) I still need a trucker hat. I know, this should be easy. It probably is. But I've looked one place and didn't find one so now I've given up all hope. Not really.

I can't believe that c*nt Ashlee Simpson is backtracking like a motha (that's "mother" in slang...got it?) I blamed my band b/c I was so f*cking embarrassed. I have acid reflux. I was tired. Maybe next time you should dis people who lip-synch in a magazine (not that I'm encourraging this, though it would help my music career), so then you don't have to eat your words. Of course, that might be a problem w/ your acid reflux and all.

More later. It's a slow day.
R.